Guest Author Emma Beeken Recounts Her Journey Through the Landscape of Science and Spirituality

Emma Beeken

The Beautiful and Sensitive Emma Beeken

One winter evening many many years ago, I walked to my friends house after supper. Thick snow on the ground and the lack of any cars or people made the stillness so eerily quiet that I could hear the beating of my child-size heart in my ears. My friend’s house was not even 100 metres away but before I was halfway there I stopped in my tracks, suddenly feeling irrepressibly drawn to look up at the wide open expanse of the dark sky, spectacularly glittering with millions of stars. And as I stood there, my friend’s house forgotten, head back (and probably with my mouth hanging open) I just knew. To me the secret of the universe had been revealed to me, and only me. And the secret was that everything is connected and there is far, far more to life than we can see, and that it is only one small part of our entire existence. I felt so safe, so secure, and as if nothing was beyond my reach.

I’ve never forgotten that moment, and until recently I’ve kept the experience to myself. Looking back on that incident, it’s clear just how incredibly significant it was, given that in the following years, and perhaps as a result of a long bout of depression I was going to find that out for myself.

My fascination with science and space from around that age was obvious to me, and I read books about the moon landing and watched Cosmos on T.V., as I debated in my mind on other things, such as whether god existed or not.  Even then I could see there was a huge divide between the scientific community and the religious. But I noticed that Mr Sagan seemed to see a connection between science and spirituality (something I’ve come to learn is far, far different than religion). From that moment he was my hero, because I felt the same.

sagan

The inimitable Carl Sagan

My sense that there was more to life than we could see never left me. As I grew older I became aware I was occasionally seeing things out of the corner of my eye. I kept them to myself, so no-one would think I was insane, and I wasn’t even sure myself. Usually I just shook them off and tried to ignore them.

These sightings came to a scary head when in my 20’s. I was a few years into a long depression and living in a flat above a shop. One day whilst I was washing dishes, I heard a crack beside me in the quiet kitchen. Looking for the source of the noise I saw a glass canister that was waiting by the sink had cracked and split near the bottom. What was weird was that my hands had been in the sink at the time, nowhere near it, and I was alone in the apartment. That on its own had me rattled enough. I told my boyfriend about the incident but I could see he wasn’t quite convinced. A couple of weeks later, we were sitting quietly on the couch watching TV when a glass sitting on the table just cracked and split near the bottom, just like the canister. This time I had a witness, needless to say we were a little freaked out. But soon we forgot about it, until one day listening to a local radio station. The DJ asked people to call in with any ghostly experiences they’d had and, just for a laugh we called in. We got on air – which was nothing significant, given the size of the audience. He listened with interest and then after the call ended a frightened sounding woman called in to warn us that it wasn’t the apartment that was haunted but it was me.

Well this wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, as I wasn’t quite sure what I could do about it. But fortunately those glass-breaking incidents stopped, as if simply acknowledging the incidents had been all the attention the spirit responsible had needed. Life moved on, and so did I – several times.

Every home that I’ve moved into since then I’ve been aware of being watched on arrival. I’ve seen a ghostly figure pass behind me reflected inside the glasses I wear, and when I’ve whipped around, and not being surprised to see no-one there. I’ve even seen a washing machine dial spin endlessly on its own – suddenly stopping when commanded to. But they haven’t always happen in a place where I’m living. Even as recently as a few weeks ago as I turned around from being served at a convenience store counter, I quickly had to jump out of the way to avoid crashing into an old lady who, on second glance, was never there

poltergeistBut the realisation that the sightings hadn’t stopped since moving away from that flat forced me to face the uncomfortable fact that there was probably a lot of truth to what the woman caller on the radio had told me. If the spirit or spirits were haunting me, what could I do about it and what did it or they want with me? My scientifically-inclined mind wanted the answers more than it frightened me.

Probably the very same reason I can see and sense spirits was most likely connected to the reason I had to stop going to crowded places in amongst all the moving. Being “sensitive” is what I found they call it, in spiritual circles. I found it excessively distressing to visit crowded places due to a disturbing ability to pick up on other people’s energy, all their anger, anxiety and even excitement. This was unfortunately doing absolutely nothing to alleviate my depression.

This was the point I made the decision to utilise my lifelong love of reading to recover. I started with a visit to the self-help shelf in our local bookstore. I did my best to search out the less mainstream volumes, and let my intuition guide me to something that would help. I did manage to find some lesser known self-help books, and those led seamlessly to others at an almost alarming rate, which were notably much more esoteric in nature. Exercise to yoga, to meditation, to Buddhism. Ancient Egypt, spiritual books and the afterlife according to aforementioned ancient Egyptians and others. Interestingly the books on the afterlife mostly seemed to concur that there are actually no evil spirits, just misguided and unhappy ones, and yes they can be damn terrifying when they want to be. They could very well be attracted to living souls who were, like me, very depressed. It made an interesting correlation between people’s energy and hauntings and even how energy can stay trapped in houses and buildings years after unhappy incidents such as death and murders. A couple of books on how to use our own power through visualisation to affect our reality came into my attention. From those and other reading I was even presented with the suggestion that perhaps it was my own befuddled and distressed energy that had broken those glass items all those years ago, albeit unconsciously.

But without even realising it, I’d stumbled back onto what had enthralled me when looking up at those stars all those years ago. I began to unavoidably see the common thread – the invisible thread – that binds us all.

Now some years later I am through my depression, thankfully but still on the course that the determination to recover had set me. My beliefs have not changed at all, I still reside in the perceived gap between science and spirituality with my hero Carl – and I am so pleased to see that more than a few notable scientists now seem to share the same thoughts.

The honest truth as I see it is that I’ve not even scratched the surface of what we can learn about our universe. Though I may never even know exactly what caused the breakages whether it was actually me or another spirit, I can’t say it really matters. But everything I’ve read between then and now from whatever genre, the general consensus suggests that there is a far stronger connection out there than a lot of us are aware of. My poltergeist story is just a teeny tiny piece of a much bigger puzzle. Though, between you and me, if it was me that broke those glasses, and I could harness that power there would really be no stopping me..

A fellow Earthling, Emma Beeken

 

Be sure to visit Emma at her own blog: emmabeeken.co.uk

Emma Beeken

Author/Owner at EmmaBeeken.com
Writer, crafter, reiki practitioner, amateur environmentalist, spiritual scientist and espresso lover

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  • aofnceo

    i dont agree that they are atracted to depressed people. i was not depressed. i was trauamtized by a bizzare abuse by a sick family. ok as a kid i woke up and went down stairs to find my whole family asleep but dead. i felt they were dead their faces look white and no one woke up. i went back up and went to sleep. ok i equate my family being dead . it seems they were and i was also the only living person to dead souls. i was alive .but i for some sick reason was put through torture and abuse. sick reason my father was sick . I was left to a horrile life and refused to be broke and 15 yeras later after drs did not remove me from trauma so i would not suffer depression.i did it myself by small margin. i got to live my real life again.. it was a miracle. ok the demon got to me while i was traumatized. DEPRESSION MIGHT BE CAUSED BY DEMON AND THE DEMON DOES NOT WANT TO BE CAUGHT. OR PUNISHED ABUSED.A ND ITS NOT A DEMON BUT A REAL HUMAN BEING WITH A PASSION FOR ABUSING SAME WAY JEFFERY DAHMER DID. TO TORTURE FOR KICKS.TO FEEL POWER AND DO IT WITH NO REMORSE FOR CONTROL.. I HAVE MET MANY OF THOSE IN REAL FLESH AFTER I ESCAPE THE PRISON ONE KEPT ME IN, ,I FOUGHT FOR LIFE AND GOT TO WIN MY LIFE BACK. BUT OVER AND OVER ABUSIVE DMEONIC PERSONS WITH SAME PERSONALITY I SAW IN MY INVISBLE ABUSER BEGAN TO ABUSE ME GET IN MY LIFE. THEY ALL FELT THEY WERE BLACK CLEVER AND ABLE TO CHARM PEOPLE AND GET OFF WITH MURDER. I ESCAPED A FEW BUT THE LAST ONE LEFTM E TO BATTERED WHILE I WAS ALREADY FIGHTIG OFF THE DEMON WHO I DID NOT WANT TO COME BACK AND OTHERS ABUSE THAT MY LIFE WAS TAKEN BACK TO HELL. AS SOON AS I FELT TRAUMA . THE DOOR OPENED UP TO THE ORIGINAL DEMONS AND I FELT THEM TRY TO TAKE MY SOUL TWIST ME AND DO THEIR BADNESS ON ME. I FOUGHT TO NOT SUFFER DEPRESSION AND MAKE THE DR REMOVE ME. I WAS IGNORED. I LIVED 19 YEAR FREE AND OF MY OWN LIFE TILL THIS YEAR. IF A DR TREATED ME FOR TRAUMA , NO DEMON COULD GET TO ME. MY MIND WAS IN SHOCK OVER LOADED AND EXHUASTED AND THE LAST PERSON DEALT THE BLOW TO LET THE TAKE BACK CONTROL., I IN HELL NOW AND VERY MUCH LIKE A CATTONIC DEPRESSION . I HAD BEEN TERRORIZED FOR YEARS AND THINGS LIKE ME BEING PUSHED AND CONTROLED AND ABUSED BY TELEKENETIC. LEFT ME FIGHTING. DRS IN THIS TIME WORKED WITH THE DEMON NOT FOR ME.. AND MY FAMILY WHO WERE TAKEN OVER LONG AGO LEAD BY THE DEMON SISTER WHO WANTED ME TO BE LIKE HER FUCK UP..